‘There is one story we never tell’: will old family photos bring joy to my ailing mother – or remind us of dark secrets?

Key Highlights

• As Alzheimer’s tightens its grip, we have started making our way through the hundreds of albums in my childhood home.
• But some are too painful to revisitA couple of months ago, my mother moved into a nursing home.
• Her Alzheimer’s has progressed to a point where it’s no longer safe for her to live alone, and she now needs round-the-clock care.
• It has been my task to empty out her house, where she lived for more than 50 years. It’s not a job I would have asked for; it requires that I trawl through memories that aren’t mine, or shared memories that are painful for one reason or another.
• But my mother is no longer able  to make these decisions herself, about which of her possessions are worth keeping hold of and which should be discarded, either for practical reasons of space or necessity or because a continued attachment to the stories behind them might do more harm than good.